Shitty Internet Dating Volume 2

At Parker's request. This guy was not quite as dumb. Not quite:

From: Mike <xxxx@comcast.net>
To: pers-6zznf-2531244498@xxxxx.xxx
Sent: Sunday, August 7, 2011 8:26 AM
Subject: XXXXXXX

Hi there , just wanted to respond to your ad , it is one of the nicest one I read , I do have a job been there 15yrs, I have a full set of teeth , no drugs, own my own house and car , motorcycle, I am married though not happy with it , been like this for some time now and I understand if not interested , but if I am single some day I will look you up because you seem like a decent person , I'm 35 and weigh 210 lbs , have 2 kids , girls they are my world , Mike ,,, ps forgot to add I'm not a murder or rapest , have a good day : )

Re: Looking for something new

TO: 1 More1 recipient

CC: recipientsYou More

Yeah, no. Totally unacceptable. You shouldn't be even looking if you're still married, at least separate first. Seriously. I am really bothered by this. I've been that woman. I hope you go home to your wife at some point in the near future and she finds a reason to punch you in your face. Unhappy? LEAVE. That's what the rest of the honest world does. If your kids were your world you wouldn't sneak around on their mother. I can't emphasize enough how disgusted I am. If I hear about a Lorena Bobbett copycat, and you as the victim, I won't feel that bad. I might chuckle.

Married men need not apply. Ok?

Fuck Internet Dating.

This isn't even a real entry. But seriously, the internet is a bad place to look for dates. Really. Just saying. Case in point:



From: J T <xxxxxxxx@hotmail.com>
To: pers-6zznf-2531244498@craigslist.org
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 7:59 PM
Subject: Something new



I'm not gonna lie. I didn't read your post. You can't post a novel and expect people to actually read it even if you are good looking. I'm chillin at my place tonight looking for a little company. What do you say?


Date: Thu, 11 Aug 2011 08:00:59 -0700
From: xxxxxx@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Something new
To: xxxxxx@hotmail.com


You're really charming and appropriate. What do I say? Sorry. I'm into literate men. You, know, WHO. CAN. READ. And manners. I must be crazy for spurning you super-smooth advances. And yeah, I am good looking.





From: J T <xxxxxx@hotmail.com>
To: xxxxx@yahoo.com
Sent: Thursday, August 11, 2011 7:30 PM
Subject: RE: Something new



Idk about good looking, but you're not bad. Free tonight?

Re: Something new


TO: 1 More1 recipient
CC: recipientsYou More Show Details

Friday, August 12, 2011 11:16 AM

Holy crap. You have the IQ of a piece of fucking french toast. NO. NO. NO. That whole "asshole thing" doesn't work on girls who didn't have a string of stepdads who just didn't love them enough, such as me. And you don't know what I look like. Nor will you. And I don't know what you look like. But I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume there's a weight problem, male pattern baldness and/or height issues. Definitely a small penis. That's just what I can glean from your attitude and failure to properly assess social cues.











 To further drive my point home, although I masked the email address to protect privacy and all that legal, moral bullshit, he had the word "bodman" in his email address. Yeah. Totally.

Makes the bar scene a little more appealing. Facts are, no matter where you go, stupid assholes are everywhere.