"I Fucking LOVE this girl!"

Hello self confidence. You know what?
I don't need to post pictures of Bat Shit husband's HomelyGirl to have half the Internet tell me she's busted and I'm not. I don't need strings of meaningless sex, drugs, or anything drastic. Ends up, all I need to boost my self esteem is karaoke night and beer by the pitcher.
After my wonderful text therapy session, I was sitting at home, all my kids asleep, bored and semi-miserable. My friend texted me and after a short series of events I ended up with a sitter, on my way out to karaoke.
I had NO MONEY for drinks. Didn't think it would be a long night.
But hello, kind kind friends and beer by the pitcher. And the events transpired at such:
10:00pm - Arrive at bar. Think it's going to be a quick night. Offered a beer. Ok, just one.
10:15pm - Friends I am with commence to tell me how beautiful I am, how frustrating it is that I can't see it and sell myself short. They give me a pep talk about how fricken' awesome I am. I'm getting a tad uncomfortable because I am so insecure. Ok, just two beers.
10:30pm - We go outside the bar to smoke a cigarette. There is a man, intoxicated twofold, bobbing and weaving outside the bar. I think one of my friends gives him a cigarette. I walk out as he is barely coherent, talking about tattoos and getting robbed at the bar. I think he mentions he had $560. I highly doubt this. He comes over to me, seriously violates my personal space, and says, "What's up, beautiful? I'm rolling my balls off."
Attractive. My low self esteem is not bad enough to reduce me to this.
I notice he looks a little like Bat Shit husband.
"I'm married with kids," I respond. I mean for it to come out curt. Thank God I still wear the ring...
"I don't care if you're married, I just needa light."
Crap, drugs interfere with picking up social cues.
He is talking about drugs, a lot. He won't get out of my personal space unless it to go wander into someone else's. I go in the bar to finish my second beer. i come back out. He is in the STREET, talking about how the cops walk in when they're called for him. I think he is pantomiming the SWAT team. I can't help it, "Attractive." actually spills from my lips.
11:00pm - His cab arrives. The driver is clearly irked that he has to pick the guy up. I am stuck in the door to the bar, halfway outside, with him awkwardly clutching my hand. He is trying to give me his number. He has no pen, paper, cannot remember it, and I don't want it. Finally he leaves.
"This is why I don't date," I say.
11:15pm - i go inside and rapidly down beers three and half of four. I begin shamelessly venting about Bat Shit husband. I'm told how hot I am. I start getting 1-10 ratings. My average is a 8-9. That's pretty cool. i am hollering and clapping for everyone who is singing. A really cute guy gets up to sing. My friend tells me he is straight. He has a GREAT voice. I swoon a little, even though he's a little on the short side for me. I smile t him. He smiles back. I tell my friends I am going to talk to him.
11:30pm - I am intoxicated. I am outside smoking with half the bar. I am slightly belligerent. I talk about my son and his love for all things Disney princess and how I secretly hope this is an indication of him being gay, so I'll never have to worry about baby momma drama. I am talking out of my ass. Talking about blow jobs, kids....I can't even remember all the nonsense spewing out of me at this point.
11:45pm - Someone says, "I fucking LOVE this girl!" I feel awesome. Half the bar is telling me I could get any man I wanted, I'm that hot. I fucking love this.
12:00am - I have another beer. I love everyone in this bar. I decided I'm going to sing. Bohemian Rhapsody. It was amazing.
12:30am- I am hanging on people, trying as best I can to promote my blog. I kind of feel like a celebrity. I honestly haven't thought much of Bat Shit husband in hours. I never end up talking to Cute Singing guy. I'm too busy being awesome.
1:00am - I go home, relieve my sitter, and crawl in to bed. My kids are all sleeping, i peek in on them and glow with pride. That validation thing? Got a taste. And look at these beautiful, peaceful, sleeping angels. They make me MORE fricken' awesome than if I was just single on the bar scene. I am amazing in both respects.
Tonight, I look at me and say, "I fucking LOVE this girl!!"